It is now coming to the close of Asexual Awareness Week 2019 and I felt like I wanted to make a post before it ended.
Back when I was a young teen, I was scrolling through Tumblr (as was my daily routine back then) and stumbled across a post talking about asexuality. It felt like a lightbulb went off in my head and I remember then frantically googling more about what being asexual meant and all the puzzle pieces finally started to fall into place.
When I was younger, it was easy not to realize that anything was different about me, but by the time high school hit and all the raging hormones had started to set in, I felt weird when people talked about things. Like my best friend at the time had discovered smutty fanfiction and I found myself grossed out by it… I spent more time calling out the poor writing than anything else. I didn’t understand what people meant when they talked about how attractive someone’s body was or how they wanted to sleep with someone. If I had a crush on someone, I didn’t fantasize about kissing them or anything further, all I could think about was holding hands or sitting and reading books together. I turned really quickly to “I’M SAVING MYSELF FOR MARRIAGE” so that I could avoid talking about sex. It was a great excuse.
Realizing that I was asexual was a mind-blowing experience, I’m not even going to lie. I’m still trying to sort out other aspects of my sexuality but I know for a fact that I am asexual. Sometimes I’m still nervous to talk about the fact that I’m asexual. For the most part, it’s an irrelevant conversation so I try to keep it to myself but I just wanted to share it for this week.
I’m aware that asexuals have vastly different struggles than other LGBT+ people but honestly I’ve spent a lot of time wishing that I could just be “normal”. I don’t think I can even list all the people that have ghosted me upon finding out that I’m asexual, so at this point I’ve given up on the idea of dating.
I guess I should try and stop rambling and just say, hey asexuals exist and we’re all vastly different and if you have any questions feel free to ask!! I love talking about this with people!!