Stop Telling Me That I’m Young

Let me have my existential crisis in peace!! I’m serious though, please for the love of all that is holy stop telling me that, at 22, I am young and have so much life left to figure out that I can’t possibly be feeling the way that I’m feeling.

Do you not think that I understand that? I am fully aware that I’m supposed to have many years ahead of me but we’re not promised those years. And with the state of the world the way it is, how can we guarantee that the world will even survive long enough for me to see old age?

I’m aware that I can’t have it all right now, but it makes it hurt when people constantly tell me that I shouldn’t feel the way that I do because I’m only 22. It hurts even more when it comes from people only a few years older than I. No, I did not graduate and yes it’s okay to have not done that but at this point I’m unsure if I will ever be able to go back to school and that really hurts because I have such a strong desire to finally go back to school.

There are young people out there changing the world, working dream jobs, living fulfilling lives. I’m sitting here at 22 feeling like I have wasted every second of my life up until this point. And it exhausts me to be told otherwise!

Sometimes I just really want to be pessimistic and negative. There’s no reason to pretend to be positive and wonderful and loving life all the time, it paints a false sense of perfection in life and I find that really unfair. If you’re always painting yourself as positive then you start to find yourself never being able to share how you really feel and the thoughts that you actually have.

I also find it really unfair to have my experiences belittled and brushed aside by both people older than me and my peers. Not one person has the same experience as another. Like I was talking to someone the other day and while trying to be motivating about the fact that he was feeling trapped in his position I also empathized. I was brutally honest and I didn’t bullshit him. It’s not fair to try and convince someone that everything will be okay all the time someday because there will always be bad days. But I also do understand that sometimes you have to force positivity when you really don’t want to. So I commiserated but I also motivated, I was very analytical with it and honestly sometimes that’s all I can do. Emotions are stupid, so look at it analytically and then you can find some good in it.

I would just really appreciate it if people replaced the “someday’s” with truth and realism. Because life sucks right now and there’s no proof that there’s going to be a magical “someday” and it’s beyond frustrating to keep having that idea fed to me (not like I’ve ever believe it or anything).

But all in all, I understand that I am young. I understand that I have a lot of stuff left to experience. However, I also feel like in my 22 years that I have lived 10 lifetimes already and I’m just tired of people telling me that I’m living my life incorrectly by being negative about my timeline of living. There are always different paths to take, I get that, but dang!! Let me be frustrated that I’m not on the path that I want to be!! Let me have emotions!! I don’t want to be on the path 30 years down the road, I want to be on that path now and I’m allowed to be frustrated that life isn’t different right now because I fully acknowledge that I am the one that put myself onto this path. I’m allowed to be frustrated that I made stupid mistakes and I threw away many possibilities of different presents and futures. And I own up to that and no I don’t live in that negativity but if I can’t speak candidly about things without being told I’m incorrect or that I shouldn’t think like that then what’s the point?

This post kind of just turned into a massive rant but I think I got the point across. Basically everyone is at different points in life but that doesn’t give one person the right to tell another person that they should think differently about their life. If you are not personally living that life then you have no say in how someone else lives or thinks about their own life.

Anyways, rant over. Have a nice weekend everyone! (Sorry that I may have started off your weekend on an angry note with this post but I just needed to post it now!)

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A Walk in the Park

Took a nice, albeit buggy, hike with my best friend last Friday and I made this little set of photos to go with it. So here’s a quite short post today but I just wanted to share the pictures 🙂

Have a nice weekend everyone!

18 Things I Wish I Would Have Known In 2018

2018 was possibly the worst year of my life for loads of reasons. Yes, I had a ton of good experiences overall but in the end, things just turned to shit!! So here are the 18 things I wish I would have known right off the bat at the beginning of the year.

  1. If someone doesn’t like you, don’t waste your energy trying to make them like you.
  2. Money is the root of all evil… SAVE SAVE SAVE!
  3. Sometimes the people who say they will never leave you, will leave you, and you have to learn to accept it even if it is really hard.
  4. Moving home isn’t a bad thing
  5. School can wait, your mental and physical well-being can’t
  6. Food is not the enemy, sometimes other things can make you gain weight too
  7. You don’t have to have found “the one” by 22
  8. Birthdays aren’t special, don’t stress
  9. Your best friend should always be there for you and if they give up on you, they weren’t your best friend after all.
  10. Do NOT change yourself for anyone but yourself
  11. Sometimes your coworkers will hate you and they will lie about you and hurt you. Always be the bigger person.
  12. Memories can hurt, but don’t get caught up in wishing the past was the present. You can’t change where you are.
  13. Not everyone is out to get you, but at the same time sometimes the people who say they’ll help you turn out to be the worst people in the end.
  14. Pets don’t live forever and sometimes you lose them way sooner than they were supposed to go. Cherish the time you have with your furry babies.
  15. People will be successful, you might not be. Don’t compare your life to others just because you’re on a different path and in a different season of life.
  16. The people who you think should be hurt by karma won’t be, they might never be. Realize that and move on. You can’t ruminate on how many different ways you could ruin their lives if you were karma. It’s a waste of your time.
  17. Sea glass hunting and milkshakes and a trip to Gooseberry Falls will always be worth your time.
  18. Don’t let your fear of the future let you make drastic decisions.

I hope even one of these points can hit home with one of you reading. I have a lot ahead of me this year and even though I’m really scared of everything, I’m also really excited about life again. I can’t wait to share more with you.

Sincerely, Amelia

P.S. I definitely purposefully scheduled this post to go up on the 18th. Look at all those 18’s haha!