FOMO In The Book Community

So unrelated but also sort of related… I finally took the Enneagram test the other day and it was revealed unto me that I am a Type 6 and ooooohhhh boy did I feel SEEN when I read the description for the type.

Now the biggest thing with being a Type 6 is that I’m scared. Of everything. Like wow, this has never made more sense to me in my entire life! And right now, one of the things that I’m really struggling with is FOMO. And this post will specifically talk about FOMO in the book community that has been created online.

I would absolutely love to start a BookTube channel but I feel as if I could never gain momentum in such a vast community. I also feel like this blog will never gain momentum, nor will my Twitter or Goodreads. I just feel like I’ll be stuck within this tiny little bubble writing for the two people who seem to read all of my posts.

And yes, I’m well aware that I don’t need a vast amount of followers or anything like that but I have a lot of opinions that I want to share and I want them to be seen widely! So right now I’m struggling with a lot of FOMO regarding the online book community. I think part of this is having seen so many posts about this most recent BEA and Book Con but also just because I’ve been following an increasing number of bookish people on Twitter and I always want to participate in conversations but I almost feel like I don’t have the right to just reply to these public tweets.

I started filming clips to try and make a reading vlog a few weeks back and I keep trying to tell myself to film because I know that I’ll have fun editing the footage once I actually film stuff. I took a film production class back when I was still in school and I had so much fun creating videos and I miss that aspect of being creative. Digital art is how I started off feeling like I was good at being creative and I want to start that up again. At this point I don’t think that I’ll ever feel confident enough to post anything to YouTube and that makes me sad.

For once I just want to feel like I’m part of a community instead of only sitting on the sidelines. My whole life I’ve been on the sidelines. Every friend I’ve had has always had someone that they’re closer to, every group I’ve been in I feel uncomfortable for one reason or another. I constantly feel like the odd one out and it sucks.

But despite all of this, I’m going to continue to persevere and maybe someday I’ll find a bit of a community for myself. That’s all I can hope for.

Also, on a side note, I hit 100 followers on here and I just wanted to say that I am so very thankful for everyone that has chosen to follow me since I began this blog back in 2015. It’s been quite the journey since then and I wanted to genuinely thank you for sticking with me no matter how long you’ve been a follower. Thank you!!

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May Reading Wrap-Up

This month I finally got back into reading. It’s been a long go with me just sitting there and scrolling through social media mindlessly but I decided I needed to pick up a book. I opened up my Kindle app and started rereading an old favorite and bam, here is the result of that.

A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas

5/5 stars. Decided to pick this book up because I had no more social media to scroll through on my phone and so BAM reading slump was gone. 100% favorite guilty pleasure read.

Again, But Better by Christine Riccio

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3/5 Stars. I enjoyed it overall, but there were definitely aspects of the book that I didn’t enjoy. But it was a fun read and made me nostalgic for London so I would recommend it for a summer read.

Here’s a link to a more in-depth review that I wrote right after reading the book.

Save the Date by Morgan Matson

4/5 Stars. Well, I finally picked up this book and read it. Took me long enough considering I buy and read every single one of Morgan Matson’s books… I feel like a sham of a fan because I waited until this one was out in paperback whereas with The Unexpected Everything I had that preordered well before it came out. Oh well though… I did enjoy this book but it brought up an issue that I had never really thought of before now. It wrote a post about that here.

The Unexpected Everything by Morgan Matson

5/5 stars. Still probably my favorite MM book at this point. Though I really do love all her books.

Since You’ve Been Gone by Morgan Matson

4/5 stars. I actually changed my rating on this from what I’ve had it at the previous times I’ve read it. It is still a favorite of mine but I’m rating it 4/5 stars now because there are some aspects of it that I now don’t love that I glossed over before but still love the book overall.

Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas

5/5 stars. All of SJM’s books are my guilty pleasure reads to be honest. I reread this for two reasons. The first being that I am reading this and comparing it to the book Graceling by Kristin Cashore for a post I’m going to write. And the second reason being that I still have not read Empire of Storms and Kingdom of Ash so I really need to refresh myself on the story so I can finish those books. Now I just need to find my copy of Graceling so that I can get going with that post!

A Game For All The Family by Sophie Hannah

2/5 stars. I was so thoroughly unimpressed by this book and I was do disappointed by that! I was so interested in this book going into it, I mean the synopsis sounded so intriguing. Then as the book dragged on I was getting more bored as it went. And the ending was incredibly lackluster and I just wished for more!! Overall it really wasn’t a bad book but I think it could’ve been way better. If you want a spoilery short review to read, here’s my post on Goodreads.

Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly

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5/5 stars. Favorite book of the month, hands down! Might possibly be one of my favorites of the year or even all time. I just can’t believe how well written this was, how heartbreaking and riveting this story was. And it’s based off of very real people and events. Here’s the link to my gushing review about it. Highly, highly recommend!

So that’s what I read this month! What was your favorite book that you read this month? Did you read any duds? What are you excited about reading in June? I’ve got a huge pile of books that I want to read all at once. I’m really excited for some good summer reading! Hope you’re all having a good weekend! I’ll talk to you all tomorrow.

Trying To Be Niche

I have a lot of interests. I have a lot of hobbies. I like a LOT of stuff. My problem is that I don’t always like these things all the time, I don’t always do these things exclusively, and I am so far from consistent it’s not even funny.

Right now, I really want to read, and I want to write, and I want to go back to school. I can finally listen to music again and I’m getting excited about wearing makeup again too. I don’t have a car to take on hiking trips and I honestly don’t know where my motivation to take pictures went but for some reason I have no interest in saving memories anymore. I can sew and crochet and take a decent picture now and again… Oh and sometimes I like to binge bake things and watercolor painting is one of my favorite things to do (even though I haven’t done it in months now).

I’ve read three books in the last week and every blog post idea I’ve had has been about books. I’m excited about what I’m doing when I don’t think about it, but then when I do pause to think about it I wonder why I even want to. Would people even be interested in the posts I want to make? I want to talk about books, both old and new, how many people will even be interested in old book reviews?

And what about posts that aren’t about books? No matter what I do I will never be able to force myself to stay in a box of one type of post. And sometimes I wonder if that hurts me in the long run when I’m making posts. How many people come to my post to see adventures and end up disappointed about books? Or come to see books and then turn away when I make a post about makeup? I want to be a diverse blog but I feel like I should be niche… But that’s not me.

In the long run, I think I will be forever self conscious about what I write. Every post I can’t help but think that I was too rambly or I wasn’t informative enough. I feel like no one will read my stuff, yet I write like everyone could read this at any moment. I know that I’ll post whatever I feel like posting, because in the end, I like to post things I’m excited about. I just hope that I’ll be able to find people that want to read along with me no matter what I post about.

So I guess what I have to say to conclude is if you found me for book related posts, enjoy! I have plenty more of those to come… And I hope you like all the random posts I have interspersed. And for in the future if I get burnt out on book related posts or if I just stop reading for a while again (which I know will happen, especially if I end up being able to go back to school) I really hope that everyone can find something they enjoy in what I write then too!

Anyways, happy Monday everyone! I’ll talk to you all on Wednesday.