How Art Classes Ruined My Creativity

For a really long time in high school I thought that someday  I might like to be a photographer or graphic designer or possibly both. I took hundreds of pictures to get the best shot of whatever I was photographing and on numerous occasions my digital art teacher had to make me turn in projects before I thought they were done because I couldn’t stop critiquing myself.

Photography meant the world to me and one of my high school art teachers pushed me and built me up and because of her I grew fond of the art that I could create, excited about the opportunities I had ahead of me because of my creativity. She helped me to hone my skills, step out of my comfort zone, let myself know when I needed to be done with a project, and was always cheering me on when I entered contests.

I’ll be honest, I never really thought of myself as creative and to this day I still don’t. People tell me all the time that I’m creative and I just nod along and pretend to agree, but I truly think that my artistic ability comes down to sheer dumb luck (catch that Harry Potter reference anyone?).

Then, my senior year, I decided to take AP Studio Art… I was absolutely insane my senior year and took five (5) AP classes (I was not one to participate in the good old “senior slide”). This art class was the downfall to my positivity about my art.

For an entire year I took hundreds of pictures, wrote out hundreds of critiques, created and recreated portfolio after portfolio until I cultivated something that I was so incredibly proud of. My breadth had a wide range of photos showing off some of my absolute best work and my concentration showcased people in various stages of being “masked”. The idea was to display portraits where the face, the normal focal point of a portrait, was not the focal point. And then came the time to turn it all in to be graded by the official examiners…

I remember sitting there and showing my teacher the portfolio that I was about to turn in. She shook her head as she scrolled through everything and sighed before turning to me and saying, “You’ll be lucky if you even get a 2 on this.” My heart just shattered. I had spent a whole year working on this portfolio, taking pictures every week, editing almost every single day. I was also furious because not once this entire year had my teacher had anything good to say about any work I’d done. No matter what, there was always something wrong. She couldn’t even be constructive with her criticism… I took it all to heart when I know I shouldn’t have and I’m still dealing with the consequences of that one art class.

Then in college I took a photography class, it was an easy course but in taking this I realized just how burnt out I was on trying to be “artistic”. Pictures no longer come easy to me, I haven’t even touched my camera in over a year. I rarely even take pictures with my phone anymore. I lost my edge. I hate almost every picture I take and I can’t imagine ever loving art as much as I once did.

The last time I loved a project I did was when I had this batshit idea to put paint all over my face and take pictures of it:

But the structure and rules that art classes laid out for me killed my creativity. The constant unconstructive criticism made me feel like nothing I created would ever be good enough for the world to see. I think that art classes can teach you so much but if you have the wrong teacher then these classes will fail you. And I think that’s what happened to me. Someday I’d like to relearn creativity, I’d like to be able to create without fear of criticism. I’d like to throw caution to the wind and paint my face and take creepy portraits. I like doing my own thing and being forced into boxes destroyed my creativity.

And if any of you reading this have ever been in a similar situation, or are in a similar situation now, I’d love to chat. Especially if you’re a high schooler or college student who’s in the midst of art classes now. Share your work with me! I’d love to see it.

Oh… And by the way, I got a 5 on my portfolio which is the highest score you can be given on an AP exam. So suck it high school AP art teacher.

 

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Illustrated Faith: Genesis 1:14-19

Hi y’all and welcome back to my blog! Today’s post is my second installment of my Illustrated Faith series.

This set of verses is from Genesis 1, verses 14-19.

They read:

And God said, “Let there be lights in the dome of the sky to separate the day from the night; and let them be for signs and for seasons and for days and years, and let them be lights in the dome of the sky to give light upon the earth.” And it was so. God made the two great lights – the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night – and the stars. God set them in the dome of the sky to give light upon the earth, to rule over the day and over the night, and to separate the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, the fourth day.

I really liked how this page turned out, I was especially happy with my lettering because I’m usually awful at cursive.

The creation story is one of my favorites in the Bible because of how simple it is and yet how amazing it is that God created everything. I think this story really helps me to sit back and remember to appreciate every little thing that God has created here on earth.

Anyways, I hope you all have a wonderful week.

Illustrated Faith: John 15:1-17

I’ve wanted to illustrate my Bible for years now and I finally started doing so in the last couple of weeks. It really helps me to meditate on what I’m reading and think about what God is trying to tell me in what I’m reading.

Most of what I’ve done so far has been pretty simple, just one item that resonates from the passage or some of the words that really stick out to me. I’d like to share what I’ve done, starting with my page from John 15:1-17.

It says:
I am the true vine, and my Father is the winegrower. He removes every branch in me that bears no fruit. Every branch that bears fruit he prunes to make it bear more fruit. You have already been cleansed by the word that I have spoken to you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. Whoever does not abide in me is thrown away like a branch and withers; such branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and become my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.”

Now I know it’s very long but it is a really awesome passage to read! My favorite part is towards the end where Jesus talks about how he calls us friends because we know what he knows. He is willing to share with us the love of God and bring us to Him in order to save us and to allow us to grow and bear fruit. Like seriously, how cool is that? I just love reading about the work Jesus did, he had so many awesome stories to share and there’s so much to learn!

The picture I drew to go along with this is of course a vine that has bore fruit. I want more than anything to be that fruit bearing vine, to be pruned and shaped by the Lord and know God’s love. This passage is very special to me and I hope you all enjoyed reading it as well.

I’m planning on posting something similar to this every Sunday, so I hope you guys like it!

Have a great week everyone!

Five Reasons to Start Journaling

I love keeping journals. I’m really bad at it, I often skip writing entries for months at a time, but I love it just the same. The first time I started a journal I was in preschool. My mom used to ask me what I wanted to say and then she would write that in the journal for me.

As of right now I’ve had I think 12 full journals and I only have about four pages left in my 13 journal which just blows my mind! I think that keeping a journal is one of the coolest things that you can do because there’s so much you can do with a single page.

So here are my top five reasons to start keeping a journal.

1. You can have a chronological record of your life.

Which you can then look back on whenever you want, which is amazing. Like I love to go back into some of my old journals, especially those from elementary school and just laugh at what I thought were my big problems or the guys I used to have crushes on, it’s incredibly entertaining. And someday, if you continue to journal, then you will have a complete chronological record of your life.

One of my favorite things is going back and finding old prayers that I had written in my journals only to find out that it had just been answered a week ago. There are a lot of coincidences like that which make me really happy.

2. You get to be completely uninhibited creatively.

My journal is my place to write in really bad handwriting, and practice my hand lettering. It’s my place to color and draw and tape things and write about anything and everything.

The picture above is of a “creative” version of a “what I got for Christmas” journal entry. I have so many random things glued into my journal that it makes me laugh, things ranging from napkins to fortune cookie fortunes to dried out flowers, and random doodles from my classes. The thicker I can my journal nowadays the more I love them!

3. You can write about anything and everything.

And it’s all yours! No one else’s.

4. The journals you can get are pretty cool.

Like there are literally thousands of options and trust me, I have an issue with that. Far too many to choose from! (Which is exactly why I have far too many extra ones in a basket I keep at home). The three extra ones I have at school include a sketchbook that I actually just use for painting. A three dollar one from Target (honestly these are some of the best). And a knockoff Moleskine journal that I was planning on making a bullet journal with at  one point months ago.

5. Memories

The good, the bad, and the ugly. Those things will always be there, and honestly most of the time, I like those memories in my journal more than I want them in my head. I have a breakup and a new relationship chronicled. I have my entire journey thus far with depression and anxiety. There’s so many memories that I have in my journals that I’m in awe, absolute awe.

Journaling is so important to me and I hope that this inspires some of you to pick up a pen and a notebook and join me in chronicling your wonderful and eventful life.

Have a great day everyone.

Day at the Museum

Recently went to the Minneapolis Institute of Art with some lovely friends of mine. We were going to see the Martin Luther exhibit that is there but then ended up finding out we we probably should’ve done advanced research and decided to wander around the rest of the museum instead.

It had been years since the last time I had been at the museum and I remember some of the jade sculptures that were there as well as the giant glass chandelier in the lobby. That chandelier is absolutely stunning and I remember being so awed by it as a kid when I’d go to the children’s theater that is right next to the art museum.

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I love that they had this projected on the ceiling at one point. Looking up at it was kind of scary but I think it looks so cool!

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Mirror selfie in a 17th century mirror.

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We spent hours wandering around and looking at all the art pieces. Every corner we turned there was more to discover and learn about. I loved seeing the ancient work and comparing it to modern work. It’s interesting how much of art has gone from being practical and functional (pottery, etc) to just being creative outputs that don’t necessarily have to have a purpose other than to express something. To see the individual styes of artists is always inspiring and makes me want to create more and experiment more.

So now that I’ve shared some of my pictures from my time at the museum, I’d like to share with you all some of my favorite pieces that I saw while I was there. I’m also going to add links to more information about the individual artists if you’re interested in their piece.

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View of Dresden, Ernst Ludwig Kerchner

I love the colors in this piece. I definitely am drawn to pieces with cool color schemes. Or warm color schemes, or neutral color schemes. Basically I love anything that is not a rainbow. But I also love rainbows.

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Tempest in Yellow, Dorothea Tanning

See what I mean about the rainbows? I love the colors in this! I really liked her work and I think I might actually look into more of it soon!

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Maja by Antonio Saura

This piece has so much emotion in it. I was immediately drawn to this when I saw it in the room.

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Springtime of Life, Jean-Baptiste-Camille Corot

This reminds me of a photograph in a way with how in focus the girl is and how out of focus the background is. It’s stunning in the simplicity of it.

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My Alone Time, Claude Monet

Again with the colors. I love the colors that Monet uses. His paintings are some of my favorites of all time.

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The Duluth Living Room, Anthony Marchetti

These pictures were my favorite things in the entire museum. The artist took historical rooms and merged them onto the outside of buildings or other scenes that related.

There were a lot of other pieces that I liked and they even had Chinese cricket cages that reminded me of the movie Mulan and I loved them. I’m looking forward to being able to explore other museums this year.

Well, I’ll talk to you all tomorrow. Happy Monday!!

17 Things I Want To Do In 2017

I have never followed through on resolutions. Never! Not once! So I’ve decided to make a big resolution to never make another resolution. Instead I am going to make a list of 17 things that I would like to do in 2017.

 1 Blog consistently

I’m horrible at being a blogger. That’s pretty obvious to me, so this year I’d like to try and blog at least five days a week. I want to act like this is a job!

2 Crochet

I am in the process of opening an Etsy shop of crocheted items that I have made. Obviously in order to do this, I need to crochet things. I need to make things and I need to crochet every single day.

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3 Take more pictures

I just want the memories.

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4 Journal more

I’m working on a post about reasons to start journaling and I realized just how awful I am at journaling consistently so on top of blogging consistently, I would also like to journal consistently (every day would be amazing but I’d be happy with a few times a week, even just once week where I sat down and got out all my craftiness and emotions out would be awesome).

5 Workout

Starting off today I’m doing a 30 day workout calendar from Blogilates with my boyfriend and I’m hoping the two of us can hold each other accountable and workout a lot this year. We both really want to get into shape and I’m hoping by doing it together we’ll actually follow through.

6 Culture myself

Hahaha. Well I really just want to go to more museums, look at more art, go to London (hopefully!!). Hmmm. Yeah, that’s about it, I just want to appreciate stuff more. I want to go to plays and learn about history and people.

7 Go on a road trip!

Summer road trip to Seattle is currently being planned!

8 Meal plan

I’m one person. I hate making food for myself. I know that I need to take better care of myself and eat better and it’s so difficult for me because of all the food issues I have. I want to start meal planning and using the groceries I buy and really experiencing and enjoying food.

9 Develop an evening routine

Most nights this past semester have involved me working on homework until around midnight and then falling into bed and looking at my phone for over an hour until I’m finally tired enough to fall asleep (this “routine” also usually involved me forgetting to brush my teeth or take my makeup off). I want to have a routine that will help me wind down and maybe help with my insomnia some.

10 Cook more

This goes along with the meal planning. I started off the school year cooking a lot and I really enjoyed it! But then I started a second job for about a month and began to live off of granola bars and microwaveable meals which spiraled into me redeveloping some poor food habits and ended with me kind of never eating or eating really poorly. So I would like to cook more meals, I have a Pinterest board of recipes collecting dust and I intend to change that this next semester.

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11 Wear more lipstick

I love lipstick, I think it looks great on me. It makes me feel super bad ass but I rarely wear it because of my stupid anxiety. I always feel like people are judging me when I wear it. So now that I’m trying to care less about what people think of me I want to wear as much lipstick as I possibly can!!!

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12 Do more artsy things

I just painted a few days ago for the first time in about a year and it made me realize just how much I missed doing artsy things. When I had really bad insomnia in high school and middle school I used to stay up until two or three in the morning and just paint or draw or color and I really really miss just being so uninhibited with my artwork. I want to do more collages and paintings and use the adult coloring books I have.

13 Be cleaner and more organized

I have lost my student ID more times than I can count just because I put it wherever I please instead of keeping it in one specific spot. I have also run out of mugs (which is a feat for me because I have about 10 at school) just because I haven’t done dishes for so many days. I want to live with less clutter. So along with this I want to try and minimize my belongings. I’ve already done so with my books which is a pretty big deal for me.

14 Go on adventures

I want to be spontaneous and go hiking and just have fun.

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15 Save money

Kind of self explanatory. I spend too much money, should save some more than I do. So I also need to learn how to budget.

16 Read more widely

I’ve really developed a wider reading range recently and I’d like to continue to read different genres and authors and learn things and be different from my younger only reads dystopian novels self.

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17 Treat others better

Tell people when I’m thinking of them. Bake cookies for my friends when they’re stressed out. Help people when they’re down on their luck.

I basically just want to be more consistent and have more fun this year. That’s basically it.

What do you all want to do this year?