Adventures With a Side of Espresso

Top Ten Tuesday was created by The Broke and the Bookish in June of 2010 and was moved to That Artsy Reader Girl in January of 2018. It was born of a love of lists, a love of books, and a desire to bring bookish friends together.

The topic for this week is books I’d give different titles to. It stumped me for a really long time until it finally dawned on me that I could try and be funny and rename books that I absolutely hated.

So I just want to add this disclaimer that I’m totally doing this in a joking manner. I know that not everyone hates these books and I just wanted to poke fun at some books that have made me mad over the years.

And with that out of the way, I’m going to start with Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. A little backstory with this one, I’ve had to read it three (3) times and it just gets more and more painful every time. It was required reading in my honors English class for my freshman year in high school and then at the end of my junior year, they switched up all the curriculum and WOW Great Ex was now the required summer reading for AP Literature for seniors… So guess who had to reread Great Ex for her senior year? Yep. This person. I just despise every single character in this book so. much.

My new title for Great Ex? Why No One Should Fall In Love or also JOE DESERVES BETTER but like who’s going to pick up a book with that title? lol. I need to move on or else I’m going to go on a rant about this book and I’m already in a heated mood so let’s just get on with it.

Fix Her Up by Tessa Bailey

This book just gets worse every time I think about it. I’d like to rename it “Clowning for Him” because the main character (while also being a literal clown) is a damn clown for getting with the guy she got with. Also runner up title is “Travis Ford and the Handful of Little Sister Tit” (Y’all I still can’t understand why that was an actual published phrase in this novel)

Made You Up by Francesca Zappia

“Read This if You Want to Know How Schizophrenia Doesn’t Work” I’m still considering doing a rant review about this book but also I don’t feel like I have the authority to say all my thoughts about it… But seriously go read some of the reviews by people with schizophrenia or who are actual licensed psychologists etc. Very eye opening to how bad this book was.

Starry Eyes by Jenn Bennett

“Underage Sex in the Wilderness” or “We’re Only Enemies Because We Don’t Know How to Talk to Each Other.”

See How She Dies by Lisa Jackson

“Incest? Incest.” (GUYS I’M SORRY I’M DOING A GOOD JOHN GREEN TITLE DIRTY LIKE THIS BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS HILARIOUS.)

Allegiant by Veronica Roth

“Get Out While You Still Can” or “———–” because I’d like to just erase this book from existence 🙂 sometimes I forget it exists tbh.

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitgerald

“Stop It, Get Some Help” Yes. The title is just a Vine. Oh, honestly this could be the new title for like 5 different books I’ve read.

I think that’s where I’m going to leave it for this weeks post.