So I have a lot of irrational fears. So many in fact that I couldn’t even list them all in one blog post to talk about them. I swear every day there’s a new one to add to the list. The newest fear that I’ve discovered I have is a fear of boredom.
I don’t really know where this came from because normally the introverted side of me loves downtime. I still desperately need downtime in order to function daily but I’ve come to fear that downtime. I am terrified of the moments when I am not completely consumed by work or class or some sort of activity. I have packed my schedule to the brim in order to keep myself going almost constantly.
And yet those moments come creeping in, the space in between classes, the time when I don’t have homework to do. The hour I have after I’ve finished getting ready in the morning before I have to go to work or class.
I feel like I’m going crazy with the amount of anxiety that overwhelms me when I have downtime. It doesn’t make sense to me and I guess this is just me complaining about it.
Well, that’s what has been going on with me lately. Fear of boredom, yet not getting anything done because I can’t sit still long enough to do anything. I’m just all over the place.
Only 22 days until summer break and 25 days until I leave for London (which is a whole other thing that I’m terrified about, but that’s a story for a different day).
Hope you all have a great afternoon!