Too Depressed to be Creative

Inspired by Dodie Clark’s song When, here’s a video I made featuring the same song.

I am creative by nature and when the moments come when all I can do is sit in bed and stare at my phone or stare at nothing things get difficult. This video is my creative response to being to depressed to actually be creative. How ironic!
Sincerely,
Meagan
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I Fear Boredom

So I have a lot of irrational fears. So many in fact that I couldn’t even list them all in one blog post to talk about them. I swear every day there’s a new one to add to the list. The newest fear that I’ve discovered I have is a fear of boredom.

I don’t really know where this came from because normally the introverted side of me loves downtime. I still desperately need downtime in order to function daily but I’ve come to fear that downtime. I am terrified of the moments when I am not completely consumed by work or class or some sort of activity. I have packed my schedule to the brim in order to keep myself going almost constantly.

And yet those moments come creeping in, the space in between classes, the time when I don’t have homework to do. The hour I have after I’ve finished getting ready in the morning before I have to go to work or class.

I feel like I’m going crazy with the amount of anxiety that overwhelms me when I have downtime. It doesn’t make sense to me and I guess this is just me complaining about it.

Well, that’s what has been going on with me lately. Fear of boredom, yet not getting anything done because I can’t sit still long enough to do anything. I’m just all over the place.

Only 22 days until summer break and 25 days until I leave for London (which is a whole other thing that I’m terrified about, but that’s a story for a different day).

Hope you all have a great afternoon!

Sincerely,

Meagan

Illustrated Faith: John 15:1-17

I’ve wanted to illustrate my Bible for years now and I finally started doing so in the last couple of weeks. It really helps me to meditate on what I’m reading and think about what God is trying to tell me in what I’m reading.

Most of what I’ve done so far has been pretty simple, just one item that resonates from the passage or some of the words that really stick out to me. I’d like to share what I’ve done, starting with my page from John 15:1-17.

It says:
I am the true vine, and my Father is the winegrower. He removes every branch in me that bears no fruit. Every branch that bears fruit he prunes to make it bear more fruit. You have already been cleansed by the word that I have spoken to you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. Whoever does not abide in me is thrown away like a branch and withers; such branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and become my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.”

Now I know it’s very long but it is a really awesome passage to read! My favorite part is towards the end where Jesus talks about how he calls us friends because we know what he knows. He is willing to share with us the love of God and bring us to Him in order to save us and to allow us to grow and bear fruit. Like seriously, how cool is that? I just love reading about the work Jesus did, he had so many awesome stories to share and there’s so much to learn!

The picture I drew to go along with this is of course a vine that has bore fruit. I want more than anything to be that fruit bearing vine, to be pruned and shaped by the Lord and know God’s love. This passage is very special to me and I hope you all enjoyed reading it as well.

I’m planning on posting something similar to this every Sunday, so I hope you guys like it!

Have a great week everyone!

Sincerely,
Meagan

Creativity

A few weeks back I embarked on the creation of my first project for my class Digital Media Studio. I had no idea what I was going to do until I had this random inspiration to paint my face and write some sort of narrative surrounding this.

I ended up speaking about my creative process and honestly, the random face painting worked out perfectly for this. So here are some of the pictures that I took and the video that I made after I was finished. I’m really excited with how it turned out and I hope you all enjoy it too!

FacePaint4

FacePaint3

FacePaint5

FacePaint6

FacePaint

As I said in the video, I don’t really consider myself to be an artist but I do love being creative and running with the creativity that is inside me. It’s violent sometimes and all consuming but I create some pretty cool things when I just go with it.
Happy Friday everyone!
And happy spring break to me!!
Sincerely,
Meagan

Five Reasons to Start Journaling

I love keeping journals. I’m really bad at it, I often skip writing entries for months at a time, but I love it just the same. The first time I started a journal I was in preschool. My mom used to ask me what I wanted to say and then she would write that in the journal for me.

As of right now I’ve had I think 12 full journals and I only have about four pages left in my 13 journal which just blows my mind! I think that keeping a journal is one of the coolest things that you can do because there’s so much you can do with a single page.

So here are my top five reasons to start keeping a journal.

1. You can have a chronological record of your life.

Which you can then look back on whenever you want, which is amazing. Like I love to go back into some of my old journals, especially those from elementary school and just laugh at what I thought were my big problems or the guys I used to have crushes on, it’s incredibly entertaining. And someday, if you continue to journal, then you will have a complete chronological record of your life.

One of my favorite things is going back and finding old prayers that I had written in my journals only to find out that it had just been answered a week ago. There are a lot of coincidences like that which make me really happy.

2. You get to be completely uninhibited creatively.

My journal is my place to write in really bad handwriting, and practice my hand lettering. It’s my place to color and draw and tape things and write about anything and everything.

The picture above is of a “creative” version of a “what I got for Christmas” journal entry. I have so many random things glued into my journal that it makes me laugh, things ranging from napkins to fortune cookie fortunes to dried out flowers, and random doodles from my classes. The thicker I can my journal nowadays the more I love them!

3. You can write about anything and everything.

And it’s all yours! No one else’s.

4. The journals you can get are pretty cool.

Like there are literally thousands of options and trust me, I have an issue with that. Far too many to choose from! (Which is exactly why I have far too many extra ones in a basket I keep at home). The three extra ones I have at school include a sketchbook that I actually just use for painting. A three dollar one from Target (honestly these are some of the best). And a knockoff Moleskine journal that I was planning on making a bullet journal with at  one point months ago.

5. Memories

The good, the bad, and the ugly. Those things will always be there, and honestly most of the time, I like those memories in my journal more than I want them in my head. I have a breakup and a new relationship chronicled. I have my entire journey thus far with depression and anxiety. There’s so many memories that I have in my journals that I’m in awe, absolute awe.

Journaling is so important to me and I hope that this inspires some of you to pick up a pen and a notebook and join me in chronicling your wonderful and eventful life.

Have a great day everyone.

Sincerely,

Meagan

Why I Hate the “College Student” Stereotype

I’m sure you’ve all seen these memes before:

lazycollegememeexample

The memes that treat college students like the dumbest, laziest, pettiest people on earth. These memes frustrate me a lot. I hate how the college student stereotype has evolved into such a negative thing.

College educated people used to be looked up upon as a higher class of society. To even be able to go to college was an amazing feat. Now, college is pretty open to most people and many students take advantage of it.

To me, college is an amazing privilege and I think that too many of us attending nowadays don’t take this seriously enough. There have been many days in the past year that I’ve considered dropping out just because I don’t feel like I’m putting my all into my education and I feel guilty about that! Like I’m spending thousands of dollars per semester to get some of the most important education of my life and yet I was so depressed that I could barely do any of my work.

Then, when I attended classes, there were people sitting there that were in the same situation as me grade wise and with hardly any work done but they are in that situation because of excessive partying or laziness. It just blows my mind that some people are willing to throw away this amazing opportunity in order to have a good time.

And that brings me to another point. Since when is college supposed to be the best years of your life?

For me, I am trying to make the most of the time I have at Saint Scholastica and now that I’ve gotten a lot of my mental health under control I can finally realize why people love college so much. There’s so much freedom and being able to spend time with your friends whenever you want is pretty amazing.

So I get that these memes do relate to people, I fully understand that there are people out there like that, I know for a fact that there’s at least one in every class for me. But at the same time, why do we have to stereotype college students in such a negative way. My friends and I are working our butts off, with activities and work every single day and upwards of 18 credits worth of work every single semester. We put our all into our education because we want to be successful and we want to prove that the college student stereotype is false. (At least I want to anyways).

College is more than parties or homework, though. It’s about finding out who you are in this big scary world but still having a buffer to fall back on if things get in your way. We can still change our paths, pretty frequently if you’re me! Or you can just sink into your original path and realize just how meant for you that truly is. There’s so much to learn about and I am so excited for everything I get to do before I graduate.

I hope that those of you who read this post come to appreciate college as much as I have and I hope that more people fight back at the college student stereotype and really show people that we’re more than lazy drunks.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

Sincerely,
Meagan

I Have An Etsy Shop Now!

I’ve been painting a lot lately because it’s a wonderful way for me to cope with my anxiety. So I decided to open up an Etsy shop to sell prints of some of the watercolor paintings that I created.

Here’s a link so that you can check it out! I’m also planning on adding things that I’ve crocheted in the future, but I want to get a little bit better with crocheting before I do that.

I don’t have many paintings up right now, but I have been working on more and I’m hoping to upload a few more within the next couple of days. If any of you happen to check it out, tell me what you think!

Have a wonderful Tuesday everyone!

Sincerely,

Meagan